That Canine Thing!

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Well, since you asked me, I do not like dogs. After all, I am a dignified…..oh, you read that last post…..well, hmmm. As I was saying, I’m a cat. Cats hate dogs. Dogs love cats. Dogs love hu-mans because they give food to them. That’s the only reason that dogs love hu-mans. Otherwise they would love cats better. We do not bribe with food so thats that. But I, Tramaine, will tell this story since I am still Spokescat for this house. (Sometimes I have to state that for the record. I do get some flack from that black and white feline I have to share a house with. It’s a good thing he likes to hide most of the day.)

As I was saying about that canine, she seem to be annoying even to the hu-mans who are never annoyed with ME. The very thought. I am truly a specimen to behold, a perfect cat. Well, I am! Oh go hide in the cat potty, Gizmo. I will talk to you later! So, about that dog. I really need to show you what this dog is all about. She seems to get all the attention these days. The hu-mans even had her outside (I shudder to think of my last trip out. Brings back the nightmare.) to take pictures of her. What the heck. I should have them take pictures of me.

Anyway, here are some of that monstrosity they call a DOOOOG.

It used to be little but somehow, they blew it up. Just look at it. Getting bigger all the time. What’s a cat to do?

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Some Day My Princess Will Come

I, Tramaine, will do what I can to help my princess to come my way. That was running through my happy little head today…you know, the Jimminy Cricket song, Someday My Prince Will Come…or something like that. Tough to remember hu-man words. They expect us to do that, ya know…remember their words. Why should I? I’m a cat. Cats do not do anything they don’t want to do. That was what my Momma taught me and that’s how I work these hu-mans.

Anyway, I, Tramaine, am going to go on a trip to see who I can find as my princess. After all, there must be somebody out there that wants a fancy cat like me. Yes, I am fancy. No, I do not know how, I just know, got it? So, the next time the door opens, I’m out of here. Okay, there’s that canine doing her usual whining. Why do hu-mans put up with such things? But she wants to go outside to her huge litter box. I know why she has one outside. She’s a pretty big canine. Needs more room than my little box.

Ah, my chance to escape has come. Wait, wait, one more second now. Wait for it. There it IS! An opening. I’m out of here. See? I’m running out here in the…..green stuff. What IS that stuff? Smells pretty good….some of it. Some smells like my litter box. Oh, that canine is coming after me. Strange. Weird stuff under my feet. The hu-man is yelling at me. If they think that I am coming back with them doing that, they have got another think coming. But this stuff is pretty hot on my feet. OUCH!!! That hard stuff is HOT!!!! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ahhhhhhh.

My feet feel pretty good now in this green stuff but it’s pretty far away from my house and my litter box. ACK! I forgot about that. Maybe I can get back without too much trouble. Actually, hiding behind this big, tall thing is great. Hmmm, I can put a claw into it too. Let’s see if I can get up high. That way, they can’t get to me until I want to get inside myself.

Boy, this is really high up. The highest I have ever been was on that large chair in the room where all the hu-mans sit and watch the box with pictures. You know, this is kind of scary. I want to get down. MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! I can’t get down!!!! What if supper comes and I can’t get to it! MEOW!! MEOW!!! My princess can wait. I want DOWN!!! MEOW!!! What if no one comes to get me! What if I stay up here forever! MEOW!!! MEOW!!! Meow! Meow. mew mew mew. I am so tired of being up here by myself. Where are the rescuers? What happened to my family of hu-mans? Don’t they care? MEOW!!! MEOW! Meow. mew mew mew.

Hey, there’s one of the hu-mans. I canNOT believe this. They want ME to get down by myself. How could they do that??? I can’t. I can’t I can’t I…….hmmm, I guess I just dig my claws into the big stick and go down like I got up here. Wow! What do you know. I knew they would get me. Purrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrrrrrrrr. (You have to give them a reason to pick you up, you know.)

I am back in my house. I checked. My litter box is just fine. No intruders…well except for that black and white feline that insists that he belongs in MY litter box…but that’s another story.

I, Tramaine, Spokescat of the house can tell you that the world is quite big out there. Someday soon, I might try to see more of it but for now, I am content to sit here and purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. See ya.

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