That Canine Thing!

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Well, since you asked me, I do not like dogs. After all, I am a dignified…..oh, you read that last post…..well, hmmm. As I was saying, I’m a cat. Cats hate dogs. Dogs love cats. Dogs love hu-mans because they give food to them. That’s the only reason that dogs love hu-mans. Otherwise they would love cats better. We do not bribe with food so thats that. But I, Tramaine, will tell this story since I am still Spokescat for this house. (Sometimes I have to state that for the record. I do get some flack from that black and white feline I have to share a house with. It’s a good thing he likes to hide most of the day.)

As I was saying about that canine, she seem to be annoying even to the hu-mans who are never annoyed with ME. The very thought. I am truly a specimen to behold, a perfect cat. Well, I am! Oh go hide in the cat potty, Gizmo. I will talk to you later! So, about that dog. I really need to show you what this dog is all about. She seems to get all the attention these days. The hu-mans even had her outside (I shudder to think of my last trip out. Brings back the nightmare.) to take pictures of her. What the heck. I should have them take pictures of me.

Anyway, here are some of that monstrosity they call a DOOOOG.

It used to be little but somehow, they blew it up. Just look at it. Getting bigger all the time. What’s a cat to do?

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Some Day My Princess Will Come

I, Tramaine, will do what I can to help my princess to come my way. That was running through my happy little head today…you know, the Jimminy Cricket song, Someday My Prince Will Come…or something like that. Tough to remember hu-man words. They expect us to do that, ya know…remember their words. Why should I? I’m a cat. Cats do not do anything they don’t want to do. That was what my Momma taught me and that’s how I work these hu-mans.

Anyway, I, Tramaine, am going to go on a trip to see who I can find as my princess. After all, there must be somebody out there that wants a fancy cat like me. Yes, I am fancy. No, I do not know how, I just know, got it? So, the next time the door opens, I’m out of here. Okay, there’s that canine doing her usual whining. Why do hu-mans put up with such things? But she wants to go outside to her huge litter box. I know why she has one outside. She’s a pretty big canine. Needs more room than my little box.

Ah, my chance to escape has come. Wait, wait, one more second now. Wait for it. There it IS! An opening. I’m out of here. See? I’m running out here in the…..green stuff. What IS that stuff? Smells pretty good….some of it. Some smells like my litter box. Oh, that canine is coming after me. Strange. Weird stuff under my feet. The hu-man is yelling at me. If they think that I am coming back with them doing that, they have got another think coming. But this stuff is pretty hot on my feet. OUCH!!! That hard stuff is HOT!!!! OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ahhhhhhh.

My feet feel pretty good now in this green stuff but it’s pretty far away from my house and my litter box. ACK! I forgot about that. Maybe I can get back without too much trouble. Actually, hiding behind this big, tall thing is great. Hmmm, I can put a claw into it too. Let’s see if I can get up high. That way, they can’t get to me until I want to get inside myself.

Boy, this is really high up. The highest I have ever been was on that large chair in the room where all the hu-mans sit and watch the box with pictures. You know, this is kind of scary. I want to get down. MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! I can’t get down!!!! What if supper comes and I can’t get to it! MEOW!! MEOW!!! My princess can wait. I want DOWN!!! MEOW!!! What if no one comes to get me! What if I stay up here forever! MEOW!!! MEOW!!! Meow! Meow. mew mew mew. I am so tired of being up here by myself. Where are the rescuers? What happened to my family of hu-mans? Don’t they care? MEOW!!! MEOW! Meow. mew mew mew.

Hey, there’s one of the hu-mans. I canNOT believe this. They want ME to get down by myself. How could they do that??? I can’t. I can’t I can’t I…….hmmm, I guess I just dig my claws into the big stick and go down like I got up here. Wow! What do you know. I knew they would get me. Purrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrrrrrrrr. (You have to give them a reason to pick you up, you know.)

I am back in my house. I checked. My litter box is just fine. No intruders…well except for that black and white feline that insists that he belongs in MY litter box…but that’s another story.

I, Tramaine, Spokescat of the house can tell you that the world is quite big out there. Someday soon, I might try to see more of it but for now, I am content to sit here and purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. See ya.

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Yes, Tramaine is Back

I, Tramaine, Spokescat for the real world, am back. It has been a tough time around here for a while but things are getting back to normal. My nemesis, the black and white strange feline, has been acting in typical cat fashion. However, that is MY job, not his. He has taken over the bugging at night job. I relished doing that work but, no, he has to get up on the hu-man and do a dance, kneed and basically drive the hu-man to distraction, all part of the catly duties.

Now, I realize that things have changed. And I am now the senior cat as well as the Spokescat in this establishment but I am having a good deal of trouble convincing the black and white that I have that honor. You would think that he could get the idea but, noooooooooooo. He thinks he is the only cat around, ignores my authority completely and does what he pleases.

I have found myself off in a corner purring excessively from time to time. There is a headache in there somewhere. He even has the gall to tell about the litter box. Is there nothing I can do to this vile creature??? He has usurped my authority, taken over all of my jobs in this house, even gotten up in the laps to settle down. And now, he is also doing the nighttime harassing. I cannot live with this. I cannot work under these conditions. Perhaps I will paw in my resignation today. Okay, I’m THINKING about it.

Wait, are those my favorite treats over there in my dish? Am I in meow heaven now? (sounds of slurping and crunching) Maybe I was being a bit hasty about quitting. I could think about it more and see what comes up tomorrow. After all, there still needs to be a Spokescat and I am NOT handing that honor over to that vile little black and white furball!!!!!

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The Life Of A Cat Is An Awesome Responsibility

Hi! Tramaine here again. I have been thinking about cats and the responsibilities we have to those hu-mans that we own. For one thing, they need to know when to get up, when to prepare breakfast and lunch and supper, of course. It is our responsibility to let them know that they are derelict in their duties to me…er, us when they do not give us our daily meals on time and in the fashion we are used to getting them.

In addition to meal notification, we also must let them know when there is an intruder in the house. You know, those little gray, furry things that squeak. They are tasty but I do not need those things and they are a bit tough to catch. I do not feel that it is my responsibility to keep watch on them or herd the things into a place where the hu-mans can pick them up. They only throw them outside. Useless!! They never watch what happens. The furry thing gets back inside and laughs at the hu-man. See, they got a carnival ride out of it and the hu-man thinks that they got rid of the things. Hu-mans have no clue.

We also are expected to tell when others are doing things wrong. Of course, I do not need anyone to tell on me. I do nothing wrong. However, Kitty and Gizmo are terrible. They get into the cat treats…no wait. That was me. They get into fights. No, that was me too. Hmmm.

Well, it was nice talking to you. Have a meowful day!! Bye now from the one and only Spokescat!

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Hi, This Is Tramaine Speaking

My name is Tramaine and I am a cat. Sort of a DUH moment, right? My picture is on the top of this blog so you have an idea of what I look like. And of course, I am Spokescat for the rest of the house. That includes that black and white thing that invaded our happy home and made life miserable for about a month. It wanted my litter box. MINE!!! The nerve.

Okay, the black and white CHILD is Gizmo. What a name for a cat. Well, he does not actually think of himself as a cat which only goes to prove how trailer park he really is. Then there is this furball that was here before I was. She wants to show you that she is the queen cat of the house. Hard to do with me around. Uh, wait a minute. I ain’t a queen. I’m a guy…..sigh. I got off track again. She is the oldest of us all and she goes by the truly imaginative name of….Kitty. Oh brother. These hu-mans can’t even get it together enough to name the cat something reasonable? Come on.

Anyway, that’s it for the real people. Then there’s this animal they call Jaz who is apparently a canine. Hard to tell. She sleeps ALL DAY, for crying out loud. No one sleeps ALL day. Sometimes, you have to get up to lick yourself, stretch and make life miserable for the rest of the crowd. There are jobs to attend to! You cannot be that lazy. Of course, she’s supposed to be really, REALLY old so maybe that’s it.

So, that’s the group you will be hearing from but I get to talk first because I am the Spokescat. Don’t you think that’s an important job? I do. And I intend for the rest of them to know that.

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